See You in the Real World

(photo thanks to rrazor)

Who doesn’t love a good prank?  I know I do.

For the fraternity/sorori-literate readers, let me start with a quick definition before I get to the good stuff.

Mixer:

(noun)

A social function where a Sorority and Fraternity meet a central location, usually a bar or club, to mingle.  These events typically have a quasi-risqué theme such as ‘golf pros and tennis hoes,’ ‘dirty professors and naughty schoolgirls’ and occasionally your standard ’80’s.’

End definition.

I got a call Monday from the social chair of Alpha Chi (Jordan)

She told me that Alpha Chi was supposed to mix with a Fraternity on Tuesday (today) but they had to cancel.  She was wondering if my fraternity had any social events planned for Tuesday night.

For those of you who don’t know, my fraternity is known in the greek system as ‘the smart fraternity’ so naturally, we did not have any social event planned for Tuesday.  I’m sure Jordan was as underwhelmed by that fact as I was.

I called our social chair to make sure it was okay to mix with Alpha Chi.  It was.  So I called Jordan back to get the details.

She told me when we were supposed to be there, how much it costs, and the unsurprising theme – Saint Patty’s Day.

Saint Patty’s Day-themed mixers are pretty standard.  Everyone dresses up in absurd green clothes, no one gets pinched, end of story.

So I decided to spice it up a little bit…

I sent the following email to my fraternity’s listserv to tell them about the mixer:

Guys,

Alpha Chi had a fraternity cancel on their mixer for Tuesday night and they’ve decided that we’re the fraternity most likely to be able to mix with them with only one day’s notice.  Fair enough.  We are.

We’ll be mixing at Uptown from 11pm-2am.

The theme is ‘Stoplight’

For those of you who don’t know what a ‘Stoplight’ theme is, I’ll put it in Facebook terms:

Wear…

You get the metaphor,

Alex

End Email.

The talk around my fraternity today is, “What color are you going to wear tonight?”  Most guys seem to be going with yellow so as not to appear desperate.

I’m not sure what I’m looking forward to more, seeing my friends’ eyes light up when they see every girl decked out in green or seeing Jordan’s eyes darken when she realizes that her entire fraternity looks desperate.

Either way I think the score is pretty clear:

(Pomer – 1, Friends – 0, Jordan – 0)

WARNING: This post contains material that some might consider foul.  If you’ve just eaten or are about to eat, I encourage you to bookmark this page and return later.

A few days ago, I went to a local bar after a UNC basketball game.  While there, I was approached by a friend of mine name Jordan (yes, the same Jordan who sent this email to her Sorority listserv).

(She didn’t know that games are one of my specialties.)

As agreed, I stood up on the railing and screamed, “I LOVE YOU BOBBY FRASOR, I DO.  I LOVE YOU!!!”

Dodging strange looks, I returned to Jordan who was very satisfied with herself.

“My turn,” I said.

“I want you to get a chair, walk up to the girl’s bathroom and bang on the door with the chair screaming, ‘I have horrible diarhea! Please let me in! I’ve been pissing crap all day! Please!’”

Horrified but sticking to the deal, Jordan walked over to a table next to the bathroom, grabbed a metal chair, confidentally walked past a line of girls and began banging and screaming.

Compared to the looks Jordan got from the girls in line, the strange looks I got resembled an adoring puppy.

After two minutes of begging, someone let her in.

When she got back, she looked at me frustrated and said, “Wow, that was really embarrassing.”

“Yeah,” I said.  “But are you still bored?”

(Pomer – 1, Jordan – 0)

Lent started Wednesday.

In high school I gave up sodas.  As a freshmen I gave up Facebook.

This year, a friend and I decided to give up not having a fish.

“What?”

I know, at first glance (read), it doesn’t make any sense.  But I figured it would be a mediocre way to practice being responsible (which I need), make for a decent story and if I’m lucky, maybe even a sub-par blog post.

So without further ado, I’d like to introduce you all to Walt, my Siamese fighting fish.

“Why’d you name him Walt?”

No, he’s not named after Walt Disney, Walt Whitman or Walt Mart.

I couldn’t handle Fantasia, I’m more of a J.V. Cunningham fan and that’s just not how it’s spelled.

No, he’s named after Walt from the ABC Drama Lost, which I’m unhealthily addicted to (I finished Heroes).

Are any of you giving up something cool for lent? Anybody giving up reading this blog for lent? It might be worth a try…